Admissions officers will often emphasize that they do not care what you choose to write about in your essay. They stress this because most writers err on the side of unoriginality, having tried too hard to meet the expectations of their imagined readers and discarding all of their own personality in the process. Of course, there is truth in their advice: You should write with the goal of expressing your own values and conveying the qualities most important to you. You should frame this discussion in a way that highlights your unique character. However, you must exercise your creativity with a definite eye toward the themes and points that will justify your suitability for college. Your ultimate goal is not just to stand out as a likeable person, but also to obtain admission to your college or university of choice.  

e.  'School Target' Essays

Surprisingly, most students find this topic difficult to write about. If you have chosen to apply to an institution based upon its ranking in a popular magazine or because your parents told you to, you may have to spend some time thinking deeply about exactly what it is that makes this particular institution right for you.

A main point of these questions is to see if you care enough about the college or university to have researched it beyond what anyone could have read in its marketing literature or on its web page. Knowing yourself--your passions, skills, and goals--can go a long way in helping you answer School Target questions. If you see yourself as an aspiring journalist and are applying to a school that can help you land a coveted internship writing for the Washington Post, you can discuss how you plan to make it as the editor-in-chief of the college newspaper. If you want to be a social worker and are applying to a university in a large urban area, you can talk about how the geographic location will provide ample opportunity for your involvement in community outreach programs. However, make sure to show how that particular school offers something others do not.

Well Done "School Target" Essay

Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are dramatically improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here.

If an undergraduate's time is spent eating, working, socializing, and sleeping, I expect that I'll spend large chunks of my time in the cafeteria, the libraries, and the dorms. My days will most definitely be hectic. As I run across the quad to my history class, I'll already be thinking of where I'll be heading after that. 

Sometimes I'll be running to a big round table in the Food Court. This table seems to be a magnet for my eclectic friends. One of the guys, a saxophonist with whom I play the oboe in an ensemble, is trying to get his own avant-garde band some places to play. Another student writes an editorial column for the Daily Pennsylvanian; he always seems to be searching for a hot topic with which he can stir up a ruckus. A French major who sits next to me in French class uses French verbs in conversation, causing some confusion for the rest of us. We tend to talk about everything from the Beastie Boys to the controversy over political correctness. We sit for hours sharing our mashed potatoes and discussing activities to collectively embark on for the weekend. I suggest some rock climbing in the Shawangunks of New York State or an art show in Philadelphia. 

After my extended repast, I'll be heading for a good place to study. When I have detailed notes to take on the reading for my Social History of China course, I know that the Quad will be way too busy and social for me to get any sizable amounts of work done. I'll have to slip away to the Furness Library. It is so quiet in there that you can hear the students breathing. In the other libraries there is too much commotion caused by people hustling around as they search for references. If I worked in the Van Pelt Library, I know I would speak to everyone who passed by my carrel. Given my extroverted nature, I am safer in a library like Furness. 

At the end of my day, I'll be heading for my dorm, where the door to my room is hardly ever closed. The people who live in my dorm are definitely an energetic group. Just like molecules being heated in a beaker, they can't sit still. They bounce all over the dorm's halls, in and out of my room, telling me random ridiculous things as they procrastinate about their work. My roommate and I seem to be from different planets. She grew up in Poland, Maine, the small town where my camp was, and I grew up in the big city of Manhattan. At first I'll think that all we have in common is our passion for chocolate. But after living with her for a few weeks, I'll know that we were destined to be together. She'll know when she comes back from a day that just didn't go right at all that I will be there for her to complain to, and I'll understand. She'll do likewise for me. We'll make each other chicken noodle soup and coffee to keep us going on long nights of work. I'll help her decide whether she has a thesis for her paper on Macbeth and then proofread it for her. She'll explain to me again why humans can 't digest cellulose--and then try to convince me that it's better to get up early and work rather than stay up late. We'll order some takeout from her favorite Cantonese restaurant. At 2 a.m., on full stomachs, we'll get some sleep before our 9:00 classes, when once again I'll be rushing across Locust Walk to get to my history class, thinking about where I'll be heading after that.

Comments

The writer deals inventively with the difficult question "Why are you and this school a good match?" Instead of telling the admissions committee what they already know about the college's curriculum, athletic program, or academic reputation, she tells them what they do not know about: herself. She answers the question by imagining herself in a college routine. She then makes that routine specific to Penn through references to the school newspaper, campus buildings and walks, and a particular history course. 

What she reveals about herself along the way from cafeteria to library to dorm gives this well-structured essay its zest. The reader learns that she plays the oboe, is a rock climber, goes to art shows, studies history, is extroverted, loves chocolate, treasures her roommate, does not fully understand why humans cannot digest cellulose, and happily digests Chinese takeout at 2 A.M. She is confident enough to write in her own voice, using informal language in an informal essay (''chunks of time,'' ''way too busy and social,'' ''random ridiculous things''). Her lively sense of language comes through in sentences such as, ''It is so quiet in [the Furness Library] that you can hear the students breathing,'' and in her comparison of her dorm neighbors to ''molecules being heated in a beaker.'' 

She is as specific about other details in the essay as she is about herself. The net effect of these well-chosen details--for instance, about her friends' varied interests or how she and her roommate cooperate in their work--suggests that the writer has long been attending the school to which she is applying. Such a commitment to a particular school will impress admissions officers.

Poorly Done "School Target" Essay

Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are dramatically improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here.

At this time, my long-range goal is to practice law. My personal goal for the next four years is to explore the wide range of courses offered in a liberal arts program. Preparation for law school will be my direction, but it will not limit my desire to explore other areas. ;

The curriculum within Boston College's College of Arts and Sciences offers a number of law-related courses as well as the University Core program, which would fulfill my professional school prerequisites. The general education requirements coincide with my own intentions to explore the liberal arts. During my undergraduate years I would like to continue my interests in mathematics and French literature as well as delve into unexplored areas. Another aspect of the curriculum I found especially interesting is the PULSE program. In addition to the exposure to philosophy and theology, this program would give me the opportunity to go ''on site'' to interact with the community. I particularly appreciate the opportunity to design an independent major with the help of faculty advisers. Also, I especially look forward to returning to France as part of a Foreign Study Program at the University of Paris. 

There are substantial differences between Boston College and other colleges that offer a liberal arts program. Among these differences is the Jesuits' superb reputation for excellence in education. The Jesuit influence is my guarantee of excellence within the faculty, the curriculum, and the student body. My father has often talked about the influence on him of having been educated at Jesuit institutions for 12 years. I, too, would like to be the product of the Jesuits' strong commitment to teaching and to helping society. It is not so important that I be taught by Jesuits but that I would be surrounded by the Jesuit philosophy. 

Boston is a perfect location for law-school hopefuls and law students. The internships, libraries, and other resources on campus and throughout the city offer invaluable advantages to Boston College students. The size of the university's student body, the faculty, and the policy of interdisciplinary selection of minors are additional considerations that lead me to apply to Boston College. The faculty enjoy a reputation for not only being distinguished in their fields but also for being accessible and committed. I feel that this is an important factor for preparing for graduate school. In addition, since students are allowed to select courses from the other four schools, I would not be limited as I explore new fields. 

Not all colleges place a priority on character in selecting their students. The fact that Boston College selects students who are concerned about others is important to me. I know that I will continue playing tennis during the next four years. The fact that Boston College has indoor and outdoor courts and a program which includes intramural and club sports, as well as tennis lessons, is very appealing to me.

I consider my undergraduate years as a preparation not only for law school but also for my personal enrichment. Fortunately, law school requirements coincide with my personal and career goals. Most law schools desire students with strong thinking and communicating skills. They value a diversified curriculum from undergraduate schools that have a reputation for excellence in education. My interest in Boston College's College of Arts and Sciences comes from knowing that I will establish a rich foundation not only for graduate school but also for the rest of my life.

Comments

It is difficult to write an interesting essay about a place you have come to know from a catalog, from word of mouth, or from a short visit. It is even more difficult to imagine yourself attending a place you have yet to attend. This student at least tried to meet that double challenge head-on. Her essay makes clear that she took the time to study Boston College's programs and course offerings, to learn something about its faculty, to weigh the advantages of its location, to consider how its curriculum fits in with her short- and long-term plans. But because all these things are necessarily abstract at this point in her life, the essay itself seems abstract, filled with generalities and clichés about exploring the liberal arts, appreciating the excellence of the faculty, and enriching her life. 

To solve these problems, the writer needs to be straightforward and specific. If she wants to go to Boston College because she believes it is the best Jesuit-run liberal arts college in the Northeast, she should say so. And then--and this is the important part--she should explain why those traits mean something to her. What specifically has her father told her about his own Jesuit education that appealed to her or caught her interest? Is she looking forward to a first semester in which she takes courses of much wider variety than ever before--differential calculus and the history of Western philosophy on Mondays and Wednesdays, the arts of the Orient on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and French literature every morning at eight o'clock? Does she want to study in the Northeast because her family is nearby and she is not eager, as some students are, to put thousands of miles between herself and her siblings, who are not at all obnoxious and who have never once read her private journal aloud at the dinner table? In short, she needs to shift the emphasis of the question: It is not about Boston College, but about the girl who wants to attend it. 

This topic tempted the writer to write vaguely about an experience she has yet to know and enjoy. She included too much and explored it too little. If she had given herself no more than three-quarters of a page for her response, she would have had to focus on the essentials instead of the indoor tennis courts. Then she would have increased her chances of writing a good essay.

Next Topic: 'International Experience' Essays