Vary your
sentence structure
Nothing seems more unsophisticated than an uninterrupted succession
of subject-verb constructions. Take a series of sentences like the
following as an example: "Moby Dick can symbolize both a
manifestation of God or of the ultimate evil.” Here are just a
few of the variations you can make:
-
Melville
renders Moby Dick as simultaneously a manifestation of God and
as a symbol of the ultimate evil.
-
That Moby
Dick is subject to a dichotomy of interpretations is evident in
his depiction as both a manifestation of God and of the ultimate
evil.
-
We may
intimate that Moby Dick is a juxtaposition of both the divine
and the diabolical.
Combine
short sentences
Try reading your paper out loud. If
it seems choppy it can likely be remedied by your grouping short
sentences into longer, more complex ones. For example:
"Gatsby’s
obsession with Daisy has deeper implications. He becomes
obsessed with escaping his own past."
This would be much
stronger if combined:
"Gatsby's
obsession with Daisy eventually translates into a yearning to
escape his own past."
Don’t use passive
voice (or, The passive voice should not be used by you-dtk)
Plain and simple. It makes your writing weak.
Bad
"This fact was proven by Napoleons subsequent actions."
Good
"Napoleon proved this fact through his subsequent actions."
The object of the sentence should never be turned into the
subject.
Maintain
consistency in tense
Don't drift from the
present to the past to the conditional (from "he is" to "he was"
to "he would have").
Some
things to avoid wherever possible:
-
Starting a
sentence with "there are" or "there were".
-
Using the
phrase "this shows" (as a substitute say "evident in
this fact is" or "This interpretation belies the idea that").
-
Using the
word "quotation" when incorporating a direct quote. This
makes for an awkward break from your natural thoughts, and
creates an aura of self-consciousness in your writing.
-
Exclamation
points.
-
The first
person or second person tense. Sometimes using the first person
plural (as in the previous example of "we may intimate")
is generally acceptable, in that it conveys a universality that
the "I" or "you" voices preclude.
-
Confusing
commas and semi-colons. A semi-colon can be used to connect two
short, related sentences into a longer one: ”Trench warfare
became standard during World War One; it was used in all the
major confrontations." A comma cannot be used in this way.
-
Confusing "who"
and "whom"; the former is a subject, the latter an
object.
-
Broad,
non-specific words like "good," "bad," "nice,"
"important," "vivid," and "thing". If those
are the only words you can use to express what you're saying,
it's likely not subtle enough to make for a very good argument.
